The (Almost) Lost Art of Letter Writing
- Hardingstone Ceremonies
- Mar 20
- 3 min read
I still have in my possession a significant number of the letters my parents wrote to me whilst I was away from home at boarding school. It's a small fraction of the letters they sent and even so occupies a medium sized tin trunk in our loft! I can still remember the anticipation twice a day when the post arrived at school and older students sorted it out into the alphabetical pigeon holes for us to collect. I appreciate most children even then, didn’t have to rely on letters for communication from parents but am saddened that today’s youngsters are unlikely to ever know the joy of receiving a hand-written letter from a parent, grand-parent or even lover. I am fascinated when I see period dramas of the days when you could post a letter in the morning and it would arrive by the afternoon!
Of course, communication today is more instantaneous and more continuous than ever before. Families can share comings and goings, photos and travel plans on any number of platforms. Friends can drop each other texts to say ‘we’re thinking of you’ or ‘have a nice day’ at the drop of a hat and social media ensures that, more than ever before, we are connected to others. So why the lament over the passing of the postal letter? Well, it strikes me that despite more communication than ever and more recording of our lives than ever, the temporary nature of modern communication will be a disappointment in the future. Married couples of the future won't have a bundle of love letters tied up with red ribbon (to be fair I don’t have those!). Occasionally I get out my parents’ letters from the tin trunk and indulge in a trip down memory lane - re-reading those penned missives I’m reminded in concrete terms of the times in my life when they were most proud of me, the times they felt I needed further guidance and the details of their lives that they chose to share with me.
Those that know me well, know that I value a ‘thank you’ letter and my children accept that one of the key Boxing Day activities is to ‘write your thank yous’! I also believe that a hand-written letter of introduction or complaint carries a weight denied to an email or text but I accept that perhaps that is only true of those of my generation who are increasingly not in positions to influence many decisions! Many people today don’t write or receive any letters although cards are still popular of course and it interests me that the majority of couples getting married still opt for paper invitations. Before I embarked on my celebrancy training I read and completed the exercises in Veronika Robinson's book 'Write that Eulogy'. Almost the final exercise involved writing 'love letters straight from the heart' to five people to tell them what you value about them; it was a joy to write openly and lovingly to five people important in my life and I know from the phonecalls and... yup the letters I received in return that they were well received.
There is the aesthetic joy of letter-writing too. Back in the ‘80’s there was a trend for fancy note paper, envelopes and stickers. Whole shops were dedicated to stacks of multi- coloured stationery. Decorative writing pads with a vast array of designs were on offer; the fashion was to mix and match paper, envelopes and stickers. Nowadays newsagents probably only stock a plain A4 or A5 pad of white or cream paper and I don’t suppose they sell many of those! For those of us that still suffer from serious stationery addiction, there are some specialist shops such as Oxford’s Scriptum and I have spent many an hour luxuriating over choosing a new design. I guess the letter writing of today has become something more akin to a creative hobby (What does it mean to be creative?) than a necessity and as such enjoys the same level of indulgence for some of us. I have a range of letterheads, a wax seal and various ink pens with which to write. An afternoon of letter writing is a joy and at least a few of the recipients of my letters have been kind enough to suggest they are appreciated.
By Catrina Young, Leicestershire Heart-led celebrant, Marking Life’s Moments.
© Hardingstone Ceremonies, March, 2025
I totally agree - I am reading the collected letters of a woman living in Northern Ireland during WW2 - a fascinating first hand, real time account of the war with genuine resonance for today’s world. I don’t know if a collection of emails would work as well; the correspondence depended on the ships/planes crossing the Atlantic safely…medium and message equally imperilled.